i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
