i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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