Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
