Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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