were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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