i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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