I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
