yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
