She is in my trunk
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
