Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
