he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
