he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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