halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize