Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
