Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
