It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
