if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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