I can tuck mytits in my pants
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
there was a trapeze. enough said
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
