positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
