It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
