Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
