Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
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