My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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