Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Randomize
