Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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