But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
