umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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