kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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