mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
