on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Found the puke drawer
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
