Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
