Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i barfeds in our rink
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
