I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
