Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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