Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
