Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
