she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
