The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
