im about as happy as oj after his trial
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
my being single is dangerous.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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