If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize