Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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