When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
