You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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