We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
