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I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
