my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Randomize
