I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
handjob tips. give me some.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
