you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize