i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize