: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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