Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
