I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
