How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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