The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
