CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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