And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
