You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
