The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Randomize
