Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
