Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
