dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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